WHINY WANKER WANTS WELFARE! v. 2.0: You just can't make this shit up.
Scatt Wanker, the Maximum Leader of Wisconsin, has made it clear that Welfare Bad, People on Welfare Bad, 80's-era Minimum Wage Good, Everyone In Wisconsin Should Scramble For One Of Those $7.65 Per Hour Jobs He Helped "Create".
But that's about YOUR finances. Not his. Of course.
Here's his latest entreaty for YOU, the enervated Wisconsin taxpayer, to help HIM with his personal financial problems that were caused by, well, um, not understanding that you don't spend money you don't have, which has put him well over a million dollars in debt. (Hint: Most of us Wisconsin wage slaves are nervous enough if we're carrying personal debt in the low five figures, since we know this administration could care less even if (as in my own situation) this debt was directly the result of Scatt Wanker "dropping the bomb" on us unannounced and carving a huge slice out of our personal incomes.*)
But you've got to be a special kind of genius to run up a million dollars in personal debt, especially when the money went for light shows and personal photographers.
Here's Scatty's plea to you:
Our conservative reforms continue to move Wisconsin forward and our successes are irrefutable. The Wisconsin comeback is real but the Washington-based liberal special interests and the Big Government Labor Bosses continue to attack and distort the facts. What's worse, they are downright gleeful about our "Scatt Wanker for America" campaign debt.
Their vengeance knows no depths ... and I hope your generosity doesn't either. You are one of our top conservative supporters and our entire family will be forever grateful for your help.
To get your mug and hep pay down our lingering campaign debt, please contribute $40 or more right now.
Once again, we see Wanker's uneducated micromanagement all over this missive. He could not entrust a competent lawyer (of which he employs dozens) or even a fresh-faced undergrad to point out to him that the phrase is, "Their vengeance knows no bounds." Or to suggest that he shouldn't crow about his "irrefutable" successes, since by all reasonable metrics he doesn't have any. Or to remind him that for an awful lot of Wisconsinites, thanks to HIM, the minimum donation of $40 is about a day's pay, after taxes. Or maybe, even more trenchantly, that there is no such thing as a "Big Government Labor Boss" anymore--which is all the more remarkable since Wanker himself could take a lot of credit for the fact that "Big Government Labor Bosses" have gone the way of the dinosaurs.
But you can't have it both ways, gub'ner. You can't denigrate people on government assistance and then ask taxpayers to pay off your own foolish debts. And you can't blame "Big Government Labor Bosses" for making light of your misery. A pretty big majority of Wisconsin taxpayers are already doing that without nonexistent "Big Government Labor Bosses" to spur them on.
*I have paid off most of my low-five-figure debt incurred since 2011 by working more hours. Not by going on any kind of government assistance, and certainly not by begging.
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