Schmaltz und Grieben mit Alois, Klaus, Deb und der Lugers

January 2008

01/31/08:

SHIP 'EM TO RAMADI: Simpering Berkeley Assclowns Want Marines Out

And y'know what? The minute y'all feel threatened by something—anything—you'd be the first to call on the Marines to save your shivering bacon.

"I believe in the Code Pink* cause. The Marines don't belong here, they shouldn't have come here, and they should leave," said Berkeley Mayor Tom Bates.

No, Master Bates. You've got it back-asswards. You don't belong here, you shouldn't have come here, and you should leave. For a place like Ramadi, perhaps.

*Scroll down to "Consider Yourself Outed, Commie Wretch."

Posted by Alois on

01/30/08:

NATIONAL DAY OF MOURNING: Several Furlongs Behind, Silky Pony Quits Race

Y'know, I find it impossible to hate John Edwards. His "I'm blue collar, just like the rest of y'all" shtick, coupled with the $500 haircuts and trial lawyer mannerisms, actually has a certain loopy charm.

But Senator? Let's cut the crap about "ending poverty." You know as well as I do that Shrillary Klinton has a much better shot at doing that—s'long as we can get her to auction off her real estate holdings and the assets of the Klinton Library.

Posted by Alois on

ANOTHER SIDE... of Jennifer:

(And I have a feeling that, wherever Jennifer is, it's not a place where "exposed skin will freeze in less than a minute.")

Happy Wednesday!

Image credit: Bullz-Eye

Posted by Alois on

01/29/08:

POSTED WITHOUT COMMENT:

(You commenters are free to have at it.)

Posted by Alois on

DAILY GAAAAAAZ-O-LEEEEEEN! AWARD: "I keep mentally substituting STFU for SOTU." — DL poster solus rex

Posted by Alois on

BDS: NEW DEPTHS OF IMPOTENT IRRELEVANCE. Just when you thought that specimens of Americanus asshatus afflicted with Bush Derangement Syndrome could not possibly get any more cloyingly pathetic, this:

Vermont Town to Vote on Arresting Bush, Cheney

Brattleboro residents will vote at town meeting on whether President George Bush and Vice President Dick Cheney should be indicted and arrested for war crimes, perjury or obstruction of justice if they ever step foot in Vermont.*

BWAAAAAAAAA-HAAAAAAAA-HAAAAAAAAAAA! I love it.

But seriously, some of us have had just about enough of the Maple Syrup State. If they had any real gumption (as opposed to the make-empty-threats-against-the-President-variety), they would quit talking about secession and DO IT ALREADY.

Most Americans, I'm sure, would be glad to see 'em go.

*Note standard "Bush=Hitler" comparison at end of article. And BTW, it's set foot... not step foot.

Posted by Alois on

01/28/08:

IMAGE OF THE DAY: My son's new digs in Texas.

I hate to be the one to say it, but he may be a little more of a "chip off the old block" than he thought...

Posted by Alois on

01/25/08:

WHY YOU SHOULDN'T SPEND TOO MUCH TIME AROUND CELEBRITIES... especially if you are one.

I would certainly hope that if someone found me unconscious, with cold, clammy skin, their first impulse would not be to call Mary-Kate Olsen!

I'm sorry if that's in bad taste. But geeeeez.

Posted by Alois on

01/24/08:

SILLY, BUT FUNNY: What's disturbing is that it took me a few minutes to realize this was a joke! I could see the EU doing something like this, I really could.

Next up? SPANGLISH for the USA!

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troub lesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

Posted by Deb on

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: Nationhood requires sacrifice at this point. Not profit. — David Yeagley

Posted by Alois on