Schmaltz und Grieben

TODAY'S MUST-READ: My son travels to the Moon.

Enjoy your weekend, y'all.

Posted by Alois on

07/29/05:

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: "Saddam started out as a pro-Soviet Communist puppet, then fancied himself a fascistic dictator and pan-Arabist nationalist, and ended up building mosques, always in search of the most resonant strain of hatred. Arafat was once a left-wing atheistic thug. When the Soviet Union waned, he dropped the boutique socialism, and became a South-American-style caudillo. At the end of his days, he too got religion as the Arab Street turned to fundamentalism and Hamas threatened to eat away his support.

"The common theme is not the Koran, but the constant pathology of the Middle East—gender apartheid, polygamy, religious intolerance, tribalism, no freedom, a censored press, an educational system of brainwashing rather than free inquiry—that lends itself to the next cult to explain away failure and blame the West, which always looms as both whore and Madonna to the Arab Street." — Victor Davis Hanson

Posted by Alois on

TODAY'S MUST-READ: Michael Totten (again!) performs his wizardry at Tech Central Station with Third Wave Gentrification, in which he sees telecommuting and high-speed Internet access beginning to reverse the long-declining fortunes of rural America.

As we like to say hereabouts... don't miss this one.

Posted by Alois on

THE CLINTON SAGA CONTINUES: Kenyan Official Offers Goats, Cows To Wed Chelsea Clinton.

Y'know, much more so than either of her parents, I always kinda liked Chelsea. I think she ought to run for office. She seems like the kind of Democrat I might be able to get behind.

No, wait a minute. Scratch that. Sounds all wrong. Anyway, I hope she does run for office someday. And I hope she doesn't run off and marry the guy in Africa. (Hat tip: JoAnn)

Posted by Alois on

07/28/05:

DAILY GAAAAAAZ-O-LEEEEEEN! AWARD: "Look, kids, the center by definition isn’t right-wing. That’s why it’s the center. How many times do we have to go over this? Do I need to draw you a picture?

You’ll notice that the center isn’t left, either. There are, generally speaking, at least two kinds of people who argue with the left. Both right-wingers and centrists do it. Not only is that allowed, it’s part of the whole point of being in the middle instead of on the left." — Michael J. Totten

Posted by Alois on

EFFICIENCY, DEFINED. At least at the government agency for which I slave daily:

Overflowing trash cans.

Endless meetings and "training."

High-priced suits and "consultants" explain our jobs to us.

Critical employees reshuffled to jobs they know nothing about.

Other than the first item, can someone explain to me how this helps our bottom line?

Posted by Alois on

DAILY GAAAAAAZ-O-LEEEEEEN! AWARD: "After classes we came home, and I slept for half an hour. Woke with a start during a dream where I was scrolling through the TiVo listings and came across 'If You Hate James Lileks,' a documentary. While I was pleased that TiVo had automatically recorded the program, I was rather crestfallen nevertheless, and was trying to erase it unseen when Gnat woke me up and announced it was time to go to McDonald’s..." — Lileks, natch

Posted by Alois on

SO IT'S WEDNESDAY. SO WE LIED.

So we were busy.

So here's Tyler Fox:

Any complaints?

Posted by Alois on

07/27/05:

SEIZING UP: I made a mistake on Monday. I had an epileptic seizure the minute I walked out my door to go to work. If I had been smart, I would have turned around, gone back inside, and spent the day with a good book.

But nooooo. I had to be a hero and make my way to Happy Work.

Thirty or so seizure episodes later, I was having a hard time navigating my way through the halls. I can't believe that I managed to get anything done, but I did.

Yesterday I was on Pluto. So I stayed home. Like I should have on Monday, when I could have cut my losses and had maybe eight or ten episodes instead.

[Note to my nosy insurance company: No, I didn't report it. No, I don't require medication. So bite me.]

In other news today: Guess what? S&G tops the Google search list for Midwest Encyclopedia (unfortunately, it was the Midwest Encyclopedia of Incredibly Shitty Weather, not exactly your typical chamber-of-commerce piece) and also for Hippo Tortoise.

Always glad to be of service.

Posted by Alois on

DAILY GAAAAAAZ-O-LEEEEEEN! AWARD: "...Talk about crazy between the sheets! She cleaned my pipes six ways from Sunday before breaking down in tears out of nowhere at 4 a.m., screaming irrational threats, and trying to throw my stereo out the second-story window. Luckily, I was able to calm her down with a little TLC—time-release lithium capsules." — Dean Wiegand in The Onion

Posted by Alois on